PrideSnowflake

 Silly Kittys, Well, it finally happened! My cousin finally left yesterday! Today has been pretty chaotic; I've been cleaning all day. Went through the tiny room downstairs (where she stayed when my sister stayed with us and stole the spare room) and the spare bedroom where she usually stayed. She left behind so much shit, and I'm not even done with everything. There's still more laundry, vacuuming, and cleaning up under the bed.  If you're wondering what I found, it's mostly miscellaneous stuff. I found some clothes (some I'm keeping because they're cute), lots of recyclables (alcohol, cans, water bottles, and a couple boxes), random crap like contact lens solution, a couple of pictures, and a lot of garbage. FYI, a rule my mom gave her when she first moved in was that she's not allowed to drink. Yeah, that didn't happen.  But hey, at least she's gone, and I don't have to lock up my shampoo and conditioner anymore. She used to take my shit w...

  If I ever come across your path Never look in my eyes You'll know I lied You'll know I cried You'll know I tried to live But all I did was die Inside and out Death meant to be free Life meant to not be seen As I cried on my own I wished you were here I pictured us together  Laughing at each other Either dancing around Or watching old memories As I said goodbye to you I regretted the moment  As I sat by myself I cried myself to sleep When I left you  You held my wrist for me not to go I left without looking back Your tears drowning me  My tears drowning me I haven't thought of a different person  You know I love you I know you love me That's why we cannot be I'm sorry -written at 12 years old-

 Silly Kittys, I think it's very appropriate that National Sister Day is today, during my 7th entry. My sister was born on May 7th. So, to honour my wild and charismatic sister, here are 10 stories from our lives growing up together. 1. When my sister and I were young, she was cleaning her room and decluttering some things. As sisters, naturally you give your younger sister the old crap you don't wear or use anymore. So this time, she gave me a locket. It was steel, and on the chain was a heart-shaped thingy with a green gem in the middle. I wore it everywhere until I lost it a few years later. I still remember that necklace. Meant so much to me that when I turned 19, I got a tattoo of that locket on my shoulder. Now, she's always with me. 2. My sister is extremely competitive, but she's also not a sore loser. We would play games for hours. Shrek Party on the gamecube, Rock Band 1,2,3 on ps3, Mario Party on the gamecube. We loved our games. She'd always beat me, but...

  10 years of silence 4 years of loneliness  1 thought the entire way “If I died, am I free of the sorrow of my past?” I walk towards the bridge, a letter in one hand, a knife in the other I set down the letter and climb on the edge As I was about to die, a hand grabbed mine.  I looked towards her with fearful eyes. She climbed up and pushed me down to the safe side. She fell off, he eyes closing in slow motion as I screamed.  Never in a million years have I forgotten my saviour, the girl who died for me.  -written at 12 years old-

 Silly Kittys, Day 2 at my job, and it went better than yesterday! I absolutely fell in love with this pompom named Ted, hes the sweetest little baby. Gave him a bath first thing, and we just bonded; it was very sweet. Though during outside time, this smoothie named Winston became obsessed with him! Wouldn't leave him alone for even a second. I would hold either of them just to give Ted a break from being humped. Such turkeys. I'm truly enjoying my job, the cleaning too. I get home, I'm exhausted, and I fall asleep while playing games with my fiancé, but it's worth it. Finally making money for our wedding next summer: June 27. He's the light of my life, and I would take any job just to afford our dream wedding. It's going to be super small, but that's how we like it. Maximum of 50 people. His family isn't big; it's my side where I have to pick and choose. It isn't that hard; I don't see a lot of people on my dad's side, and my mom's s...

There was once a glow in the moonlight. The blackbird came rushing towards me as if it had never happened before. I ducked quickly, but the bird came rushing again towards me. Why is it doing this? Is it a sign to wake up from a dream? Should I be worried? Am I in a nightmare? I pinch myself. Nothing happens. I pinch myself again. Nothing happens. -written at 12 years old-

 Silly Kittys, Well, my first day at my new job went great! Really chaotic; turns out Wednesdays are their busiest days. Honestly though, it was awesome. I hung around adorable dogs, funny people, and even bought myself some red Powerade during my break today. Tomorrow I'll be smarter though, I'm gonna wear a T-shirt instead and bring a water bottle! News of my cousin: exactly as I expected. She's waiting to hear back from people to see if she can stay there, so of course my mom is letting her stay until she does. Pissing me off how it's been nearly a goddamn fucking month since we tried kicking her out in the fucking first place!! She's a danger to the dogs; she's a danger to my mom's skids, fucking everybody. By danger, I don't just mean physical, but mental. This summer has been fucking shit, and it's her fault. My mom's wedding was nearly completely ruined because of my stupid cousin.  I just wish she wasn't so stupid for letting her stay...

  When I open my eyes, I see the expression on your face. A teardrop falls to the ground With a moment of realization. I go up to give comfort. But you turn me down with silence. I whisper a sob As I walk to the door, I walk alone. -written at 12 years old-

 Silly Kittys, Well, I do have some good news! I FINALLY got a job!!! And it's not some bullshit retail job either. I got a job as a doggy daycare attendant! I start tomorrow, and I am SO excited. I haven't worked since early May when I quit my last job at fucking McDonald's. That place as a job is a fucking goddamn nightmare. "Now, Pride, how is it so bad?" you ask? Lemme tell you! I first started working there 4 years ago, at the same location I worked recently. Coworkers were nice, the customers were okay, but my manager was not. Such a fucking asshole. I swear he was out to get me. Anyways, I was there for roughly 3-4 months. Now I left when my relationship was going through a rough patch. My partner worked at McDonald's too, just at a different location. They claimed they were in love with another girl and blah blah blah. After we made up, we both quit our jobs because neither of us wanted to be associated with it anymore. The only reason I went back was ...

 Silly Kittys, I should have known, honestly. There's been way too much back and forth with my mom on this whole cousin debacle. She gave her 2 more days. 2 MORE FUCKING DAYS! It's always "give her time" or "she needs help," but never about her children or dogs. Apparently, when my mom confronted her, she said: "I'm not bothering anyone; it's like [me and my fiancé]". She also begged for a week when my mom caved and gave her 2 days.  It's beyond frustrating dealing with this. But of course, that's why I created this. A way to cope with life and current situations. Well, this is my life, and my current situation sucks ass. Honestly, it's fucking bullshit. My cousin needs professional help, not her aunt taking pity on her and forcing her children to deal with the consequences. Like fucking hell!  I won't write a long update since I've already written today (twice actually), so I'll just say this.  Stay safe out there, ...

 Silly Kittys, Today is quite an anxious day for me. Here's some background information. So my cousin moved in with my family mid may of this year. This is not the first time she has, but holy fuck it will definitely be the last. She has severe mental health issues, and it got worse after she had her kid 5 years ago. Since then, she's gone downhill fast, especially in the past 2 years. Had an assault charge against the baby daddy. Though he's an actual dickhead, so I hate him. My family believes she has trauma-induced schizophrenia.  Honestly, a part of me feels pity for her. She has gone through the worst life has to offer...several times. Growing up, we were very close. I was one of her biggest fans, despite her clear health troubles. However, before she moved in, my mother gave her clear rules. I incorporated one of my own: never go into my 2 rooms; be careful not to let my cats out ESPECIALLY if the back door is open. Well, my mom and I visited my sister 2 weeks into he...

  (Verse 1) Secrets are hidden inside Touching is forbidden out of here This is where we can be  Together hiding from the world (Verse 2) The wind is picking up We better scurry Don’t forget our meetup tomorrow Same time as before (Pre-chorus) Don’t sway the branches  Don’t show them anything (Chorus) Never show our forbidden love Romeo and Juliet could never hope to be like us  Stolen kisses Stolen glances from across the room Everything hiding behind that secret willow (Verse 3) I don’t think anyone saw us I think we’re alright Give me another kiss I’ll need to savour you for the rest of our lives (Chorus) Never show our forbidden love Romeo and Juliet could never hope to be like us  Stolen kisses Stolen glances from across the room Everything hiding behind that secret willow Look at me, darling Remember my gaze It’s just us 2 Forever and always  (Bridge) It’s so romantic So mysterious My adrenaline is pumping  Never share our secret (Pre-chorus) Don...

 Silly Kittys, First-ever post on here, what a rush! I'm not going to make it toooo long. It's 1am here after all when I am writing this. I plan to make my entries more "dear diary"esque. When I'm done ranting, perhaps I'll give out advice or tips or maybe a picture of my 2 cats. Who knows?! I can be fun...sometimes.  I want to make an entry on here as often as I can; I'll even set reminders on my phone. If anyone is out there who wants to keep up with me, I live on Mountain Daylight Time. Not entirely sure if that's helpful or not, but we'll see. I'm thinking of setting the reminders at 8pm and having a post up by 9.  There will not be regular songs; I don't have that much energy. I have over 100 poems, so I can easily add one every day along with an entry. But if I'm feeling wild, maybe I'll add a short story or something. I will reiterate what it says on my home page: I WILL NOT CENSOR MY WORDS! So if you don't enjoy adult co...

  One day, I left without a word No trace of anything Then you found me, I break into tears, I was gone for 3 years No sign of retreat You don't know how scared I was, You only know nothing The sleepless nights of tears and screams I bid farewell as I got up from your arms If you find me again, That won't be me, But your memory of the girl you once knew -written at 12 years old-